Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

“Just agree with me or remain in the wrong”


29 Jan

A colleague came up to me the other day. He had devised a devilish plan and needed my support to endorse it.  I would later learn that my endorsement was needed for a far sinister plan, one which would eclipse all others and make them seem like Vinicola’s Port Wine in front of French Pinot Noir.

On another note why is it that the people that don’t know what the duck (word masked with rhyming alternative) they are talking about always have the most to say? From my perspective, one needs a brain to have a thought.

I digress.

Coming back to the point, a friend of ours was in a relationship and was planning to get his beau something really nice for Valentine’s Day. He was as confused as how Venkatesh Prasad would be at the WACA in Perth. Eager to make the right moves in a budding relationship, he approached his friends to suggest the perfect gift for his girl. After some deliberation he thought of buying a Digital Photo Frame.

Don’t ask why.

This colleague of mine was probably his best friend and suggested that he reconsider his decision of buying a Digital Photo Frame. He opined that this gift would be as useless as a Comb for a Bald man or a Mic for Manmohan Singh. He was so confident that this was a crappy gift that he dared him to buy it. The consequence of not listening to him could be grave. The colleague even warned him of telling his girlfriend about the gift even before he bought it. The reason – She would hate such a gift and it would probably harm their relationship. Clearly, he was in the developmental stages of maturity and probably should have been carrying a Board on his chest which said “Bear with me! I’m under construction

A Digital Photo Frame might not appear like a great choice but the friend would know better and it really should be left to this friend to decide what’s best. Somehow this colleague had got lies and Gorilla Glue mixed up and his story fell apart. When we met during a Tea break, he recounted his horror of receiving a similar gift from his ex-girlfriend a while ago (1969?), which caused a lot of pain and anguish. So much so that he initiated a campaign against gifting of Digital Photo Frames. The friend, however, was showing no signs of letting up and was dead set on getting what he wanted. Fearing that this friend would buy the Photo Frame anyway, the colleague decided to raise the stakes and issued a veiled threat. What ensued was no less than the botched up “Mahabharat” play sequence from the classic Hindi comedy movie – “Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron”. Standing at the sidelines, I had the ringside view of the comedy show, as it unfurled. I ended up asking myself – “Yeh sab kya ho raha hai bhai?

However, it was no fun. Trust me.

True to his word, or should we say, ‘threat’ – our colleague spills the beans. Resultantly, words were spoken; actions were taken but just short of Blood being spilt. The friend was forced to buy a set of her favorite Books instead. Our colleague got what “he” wanted. The friend was distastefully forced to change “his” choice and in all this no one bothered to ask the girl how she felt about being given Books instead of a Digital Photo Frame.

I continued to stand by and watch things happen until now. I finally mustered the courage to write this post. I feel so proud.

Street Race!


26 Feb

I am a born Biker. Despite having 2 Cars, I usually prefer to ride my Bike, a CBR 250R. The other day, I was on my way to work. It was Wednesday, early evening and the weather was Bangalore-perfect. Conditions were overcast with the Sun just peeping out of the clouds and cold breeze blowing through the streets. These were near-perfect conditions for riding. I couldn’t help but hope that this was a weekend ride towards an unknown destination. What fun would that be, no?

I was in my element, enjoying the ride as well as the typical Bangalore weather on my Ceeber (read: CBR). During the ride, my top speed hadn’t even crossed 60 as it was just a casual ride to office. As I crossed the halfway mark, I was on the right side of the road with very few vehicles ahead and behind me. Suddenly, this buffoon of a guy on a Black Pulsar 220 whizzed past me with no more than a few inches between us. Not just that, he swerved violently across the road and quite deliberately cut me off. I had to slam the brakes hard to avoid impact. The combined-ABS on the Ceeber worked like a charm. Our man wasn’t wearing a Helmet and was also puny in size. His light weight body on a fast Pulsar made it easy for him to throw the Bike around easily. As I watched him disappear into the distance, I was still in a confused state of mind and felt discomposed, as my rhythm had been wrecked. By now, he was far ahead but I could still see him in the distance. I don’t mind being overtaken even by a TVS Champ as long as the person overtakes responsibly and doesn’t try to act smart. I almost never take up racing battles in city streets in the interest of safety.

As I regained my composure, I felt that my body was involuntarily preparing for battle. I looked up and smiled. I could feel every muscle in my body tightening up and the Adrenalin rushing through my blood. The war-cry has been sounded. The bells had been rung for the bout to begin. I shut my Helmet Visor and with a demonic glance at my speedo, which was still stuttering around the 60-mark, I downshifted to 4th gear and revved the engine. The 250 CC mill of the Ceeber roared to life like a caged Lion. I pulled-back on the throttle and the Bike surged ahead like a madman on a mission to kill. By now our man had disappeared from sight. I could only imagine him smirking to himself thinking he was invincible. Before I knew, I was already doing 100 kph in 5th gear with still a cog left. What a blissful feeling, I tell you. After a few seconds, I could see the target once again. I could see his distinctive Red shirt in the distance. Traffic on this day was surprisingly low. Seconds later, I was within 25-30 feet of our hero (sarcasm intended). I positioned myself directly behind him so he cannot see me in his mirrors, as I steadily gained momentum. Our man, however, had managed to spot me. I could tell because he glanced at his mirrors a couple of times and his body language had changed. He looked nervous and raced forward furiously.

A Truck decided to play spoilsport. It was bang in the center of the road, about 50 meters ahead and was moving slower than Geoffrey Boycott’s grandma. We both had to back off the pace. I moved to the right and he moved to the left of the Truck. His desperation was very evident as he almost rode on the footpath so as to overtake the Truck. I, for once, even thought of backing out as I was actually worried about safety. But, no! Not just yet. He had to be taught a lesson. With renewed enthusiasm, I opened the throttle further with my final dash towards the finish line. I surged forward and as I raced past him, I swerved across him but with enough distance between us. He revved his engine hard in angst as he was forced to take a turn towards his destination. I raised my hand with him still looking at me and shook my index finger, as if to say, “Let’s not try that again, shall we?

Revenge was sweet.

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05 Feb

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